The Big Picture

Since our return from our Oregon coast vacation I have had a theme rolling around in my head. One morning while we were walking along the beach I was walking with my eyes toward the ground. I was enjoying the sights of the sand, the weird looking seaweed that had washed up, the awesome smooth black rocks that were lining the shore. I was looking for treasures that I don't ordinarily see in my home life. I stopped and took the time to look out on the horizon and something that I had read many years ago when I started homeschooling our children popped into my mind. The author of the article stated that children were losing their ability to focus at a distance since our lives don't include much gazing into the distance anymore. It struck me that I was missing the "Big Picture" of the whole ocean by only staring at the small area beneath my feet.
                                                                              

That thought became a theme that has been rolling around in my brain since. I have missed out on the "Big Picture" in my spiritual life at many times. I have become caught up in the "doing" of so many things. Bible studies, helping at church, community service, attending church. While these are all very great things there are times when they have become the focus rather than looking at the "Big Picture" of what God really wants me to be doing. My relationship with Him is the most important thing. Not the immediate details that sometimes overshadow the total picture of what my relationship with God looks like. 
                                                                             

It is so easy on a weight loss journey to get caught up in the immediate things that are right beside me. I completely plan my food the night before. I have it planned right down to the snack what I will eat.
 I plan out my weekly exercise around my piano teaching schedule, our family activities, my time commitments and the schedule of the household. I have planned which days I will do cardio and which days I will do strength training.  I know that for me to be successful with the changes that I am making in regards to my health and choices I need to have a plan so I don't act on impulse. These are details that I must focus on to stay honest with the changes that I am making.

This was the first week since January that I have truly had more than a momentary struggle. It has been a week full of emotional challenges that in the past would have driven me to try to nurture myself with food. My weight loss has naturally slowed a bit but when I honestly sat down and looked at my food tracker I could see that this week I was pushing my boundaries on a daily basis. It was time to look past the important details right at my feet and look at the "Big Picture" and into the horizon. It was time to admit to a friend that I was struggling. It was time to admit to myself that I was feeling wounded. It was time to work through the emotions that in the past would have had my stuffing food into my face to "nurture" myself.
                                                                                 

 The things that are right at my feet, tracking, planning, exercise, are all important. Even more important is learning healthy life skills to deal with my emotions and how I handle stress. After honestly looking what I was doing and how I was pushing boundaries and headed back towards former habits I made a turn around. I looked at the Big Picture and made the decision to make my next choice a healthy one.

Because I am Loved

As people notice my shrinking body due to my weight loss I am asked "how did you do it?" I know that my friends and acquaintances are looking for a "weight loss method" or a "how to" lose weight. I have successfully lost weight in the past, only to gain half of it back. This time feels different and this time is different. My answer is to first mention that I do workout regularly and I do followed the Weight Watchers Simply Filling nutrition plan but that the real key is that I have finally learned to love myself. I also point out that God is finally getting it through my thick head how much He loves me and that I have worth to Him.                                                      

That said, I am still struggling with learning to accept God's love.

Just yesterday I wrote a prayer pouring out my heart to God that I long to fully experience His love in my life. I asked Him to heal my wounded heart, turn my fears into courage and infuse my heart and mind with his love. To help me to truly believe that He loves me unconditionally. I asked God to write a new label on my heart - not just "courageous" as I turn fear into courage but also to write "Beloved Daughter who is loved" on my heart. I asked Him to help me to stop coloring my future based on my past.

                                                                       

Tonight as I sat curled up with my "Limitless Life" book by Derwin Gray I began reading "From Addict to Free". I am humbled and reminded yet again of God's great grace to me that after spending the past 30+ years with a food addiction that I have experienced freedom and peace. How true the words that "substitute gods (feeding myself) promise freedom but only succeed in enslaving us". For years I have labeled myself with titles of shame, disgust, guilt and self loathing. The first key that Derwin lists to change our label from "Addict to Free" is "Know Who I am".

I am loved.

                                                                 

After writing out my prayer yesterday God showered me with His love. The thing I prayed for was addressed in what I read today.
God loves me so lavishly that he orchestrated the timing of my prayer with the reading of "Limitless Life". That speaks love to me. That shouts it from the rooftops!

I. Am. Loved.

As if that isn't enough, God made sure that I wouldn't doubt it was HIS voice speaking to me. I began reading my "Made to Crave" devotion by Lysa Terkeurst and Day 28 is titled "Because I am Loved".
When I got done sitting in stunned disbelief I could only marvel that the God of the universe wove the threads of my day, my month, my Bible study book, prayer thoughts and devotion to all point to the message that I am loved. The noise lies of the enemy chips away at the security of knowing I am loved but the God who loves me wanted to remind me that

"Even before he made the world, God loved us (me) and chose us (me) in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes". Ephesians 1:4

I am free and live with a heart of peace Because I am Loved.

Beach Blog

This week's blog comes to you from the Oregon Coast. While I wait in the car my guys are out in the torrential downpour of rain playing disc golf. My musings today are on maintaining a healthy lifestyle when you are completely out of your home environment.

                                                                           

I have been planning my food and what I'd do on vacation for the past month yet yesterday while on the road my carefully crafted plan fell apart. My "planned indulgence" turned into an unplanned run in with 3 cookies. My carefully planned "Simply Filling" dinner didn't happen when we stopped to eat out because it was getting late. My goal to lose weight while on vacation might not happen unless I make the whole family crazy and do nothing but think of my next bite. Thinking of food non stop is bad for me.

What I can do on vacation. Put into practice the MTC (Made to Crave) tools that I've learned. Truths that stand out and help me to focus.

"Make my next choice a good one". This morning I started with an apple, oatmeal with flax seed and a banana. My morning attitude and choices set the tone for the day.
                                                                           

 Drink more water. I have my water bottle with me. No excuses.

Move more! Hubby & I had a lovely 3 mile walk on the beach this morning. Okay, the company was lovely. The whipping wind and rain weren't awesome but we had fun regardless!

                                                          

Focus more on family than on food.

                                                                         

Don't get into "vacation mode" and throw months of hard work out the window.

Vacation is a time to renew and refresh myself. Putting myself back into food bondage isn't refreshing whatsoever. Each choice I make. Each food temptation I am victorious over. Each step of obedience to God in this area of my life is my renewing and refreshing.

 I will fully satisfy the needs of those who are weary and fully refresh the souls of those who are faint.
Jeremiah 31:25 NET Bible

Scale ~ Friend or Foe?

So my friend Trish is pretty much my hero. I'm just going to lay that right out here. She also did the Made to Crave study followed by the MTC Action Plan. She has not weighed. She has not stepped on the scale at the beginning of her changed life. She has not stepped on the scale in all of the weeks of changing the inside of herself. The outside IS changing though. She can tell by the fact that her clothes are getting looser and her husband has noticed. She truly is living the thing that we all say but often don't truly mean "my worth is not determined by a number of the scale".

I am happy to tell you that I am not judging my "progress" of a changed life by the scale either. What I am measuring it by is the peace that I finally have. The fact that food no longer has unlimited power over me. The fact that I'm not thinking about food and counting every morsel and planning what I am going to eat next (healthy or not). I do weigh throughout the week. One of the issues that I have had since a teenager growing up on the farm was that I have no portion control built into my eating. The Weight Watchers Simply Filling eating plan that I follow works extremely well for me BUT it is based on eating when you are hungry, stopping when you are full. That is something that I am still learning. The scale is a tool that I can use to help me measure my obedience to God's direction in my life and my correctly interpreting my hunger/full signals.The scale no longer has power to make me feel successful or worthy. It no longer can make me fall to a depth of despair or rise to a euphoric high.

Worried about the number? The scale might not be moving because you are gaining muscle!

Use your scale wisely. If it's a good tool for you, then use it! If it becomes where you are finding your happy than step away from it.

 Certainly it feels good to fit in smaller clothes. It feels good to see the number descending on my weight chart. It feels awesome to have the beginning of muscle instead of just "flabs". It is nice to have markers along the way that help us to see our progress in tangible ways. More importantly it feels amazing to hear God's still small voice guiding me to the apple when I'm thinking about the pop chips. It feels incredible to finally be listening with my heart when God says "I made you. I love you. You are beautiful".

Love yourself. You are worthy. God loves you more than you can ever imagine! You are defined by being a child of God, not by a number on the scale.

The Myth of Magical Success

How many times have I, have we, sought a quick and easy fix to our weight loss problems?
 I have to admit that I have looked for magical success in this area of my life. I once even sunk low enough to buy a "weight loss program" that was achieved through how you BREATHED. (blush)

The Made to Crave Action Plan Online Bible Study recently concluded and today while I was working out, between gasping for breath and sweating wildly, I was pondering my changed attitude. In the past I have successfully lost large amounts of weight only to reach a certain point, get discouraged and quit. When I didn't get the results that I wanted I threw in the towel rather than stay the course.

During the past months I have taken 30 lbs of fat off my  body. I have also shed some foolish ideas such as "once I lose this weight I can go back to eating like I did when I was 20". In the past I have even fallen prey to those thoughts of "I don't want to deprive myself today, I will do it tomorrow" and "I'll wait until after the holiday, the occasion, the end of the year, etc. to begin eating healthy". Once I admitted to myself that there WAS no "going back" my thoughts towards food changed dramatically and I am embracing the new, healthier way of life! I am enjoying what I can eat.

A few weeks ago I became convicted that although I was working out regularly I had fallen into some sloppy habits of just trudging through. Really, how seriously was I working out if I was texting while I was doing it? Although I am, and will always be, a firm believer that consistency of exercise is the key (as in, don't burn yourself out trying to do too much) I definitely was not working hard enough to get the results that I wanted. Part of the MTC Action Plan was exercising in our Target Heart Rate Zone. Can we say "oh. my. heck."? Sweaty. Breathless. Happy. I am working towards the results I want and not just expecting "Magical Success".

At the end of the day I would rather look back and know that I gave it my all rather than be stuck in a rut and wishing for magical success to fall my way! That pretty much holds true with everything in my life. Set your goal. Make it realistic. Then be willing to work hard for what you want!

Joy markers of my path

It all started with an ordinary brown bag, filled with 4 ordinary river rocks. What God did is extraordinary. The retreat I attended was titled "Unstopping the wells that the enemy has stopped up".
When I went I never dreamed of what God was going to do in my life! It had been months in the making but that night I finally opened up my heart to what God was trying to do in my life. We used our rocks to build an "altar" to lay burdens on and give them to God. I knelt praying with tears rolling down my face. By the time I reached the point of going up for prayer I was a sobbing mess. Through my mess, God made beautiful. God spoke words through a woman praying over me and I walked away with "Determination" and "Deliverance" resounding in my heart. When I got home I wrote those words on the rocks from the conference. Those marked a night of being set free. Great joy!
                                                                         
A couple of months later God gave me the word "Victory" to add to my remaining rocks. That was the point in time when he was calling me to fast from soda.
                                                                             

"Determination" marks the jar that has stones in it representing the pounds that I need to lose. "Victory" marks the jar that has the pounds lost, but more importantly the obedience that is happening in my life.
                                                                     

Since that time I have other words that mark occasions and joys. Loved. When I finally started to love myself. "Crave God" as I journeyed through Made to Crave and watched him change my life! "Peace" as I made choices that were in the center of His will. "Friends" to mark the times when life was turning upside down and he sent fellowship, laughter, accountability and Christian women to walk beside me.

As I continue to live more fully in his will I will continue to fill up my Joy Jar with markers of what he is doing in my life.
                                                                      

I have a remaining rock from the conference waiting for the next turning point that He has for me.
I have the feeling it's going to be a big one and I can't WAIT for it!

Polyphenols on a Budget? Absolutely!

Polyphenols on a budget. What in the world are polyphenols you might be asking? In the Made to Crave Action Plan we are learning how to maximize key nutrients.
"Polyphenols are compounds found primarily in plants, especially in naturally ripened, dark-skinned fruits and vegetables. Current research suggests they may play a significant role in promoting health and preventing disease." Quote from "Made to Crave Action Plan" by Lysa Terkeurst & Dr Ski Chilton.

The list is full of VERY yummy Fruits, vegetables, legumes, nuts, seed and additional sources. The downside is that for those of us in a single income home it can get expensive to fill up on the apricots, blackberries, blueberries, cherries, and strawberries that are high in polyphenols. Especially when we live 2 hrs from the nearest Costco or Walmart to buy frozen varieties of them.
                                                                   

My personal challenge this week was to fit as many of these powerful foods as I could into my existing menu. I am using the Weight Watcher Simply Filling method for healthy eating and much to my delight the things that I am learning in MTC Action Plan are things that I have already incorporated into my life.
                                                 
                                                                 

Back to the food... One affordable fruit with high polyphenol levels is apples. We bought a 5 lb bag of apples for $4.99 this week. (A great deal for our area!) Walnuts are on the "seeds with polyphenols" list as are flax seeds. Cinnamon also made the list for additional sources of Polyphenols.
                                                                 
                                                                           

                                                             
Putting these into breakfast with my oatmeal was a perfect way to keep the budget intact and still fill up on some really great nutrients!

                                                           

 You are looking at a bowl of oatmeal with an apple, 1 Tablespoon walnuts, flax seed, cinnamon and nutmeg. I got my morning serving of dairy by adding Fat free milk with it. With the Simply Filling plan I only needed to count points for the tablespoon of walnuts 1 PP and the rest fit exactly into the power foods that I eat daily!

And for a snack later...

Dark Chocolate! Science has proven what we already knew... a little dark chocolate is good for you!
Yes, Dark chocolate is on the polyphenols list. Today's snack for me is a square of Dark Chocolate with Sea Salt.


“You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat” Matthew 5:6, MSG